Camera Shy

Most of my friends know I’m a gadget girl.  I like to have the new hot electronic thing.  I’m currently obsessed with the FLIP cameras.  I love the idea of recording little snipets and sharing them with family and friends.  My birthday is coming up in a few days so as I was thinking of treating myself to a new camera I started thinking this week about the last few years and it occured to me that I don’t really have a lot of picture memories.  I remember a lot of the things in my mind but I don’t have a lot of pictures of those memories.

I’ve suffered from I-don’t-like-my-weight-so-I-won’t-take-pictures syndrome for most of my adult life so I am a pro at hiding from the camera, coming up with excuses as to why I shouldn’t be in a picture, why I should take the pictures, etc.  Most of my friends don’t even ask me anymore to take pictures because they know I will pitch a fit about being in the pictures.  I was perusing a few of my friends very important life events (weddings, showers, etc) that I was apart of and smiled as I remembered their special days, but from the pictures you would never know that I was even there because I’m not in any of the pictures.  For most people that meet me, they know I love to be around people and my friends are so important to me.  While on the outside I’m a type A personality, on the inside I’m always wondering if people are laughing at me because of how I look.

Question for you guys out there in cyberspace……HAVE YOU EVER USED WEIGHT AS AN EXCUSE TO HIDE FROM THE CAMERA???

I only have a few more years left in my 20’s so I’m going to just enjoy them no matter how I look.  I’m going to get my FLIP camera (I love when I convince myself that I can get a new toy LOL), a new digital camera and I’m going to snap and record away!  Life is too short to spend it worrying about the little stuff.  I’m working on how I look and since my friends and family are the most important things to me I’m going to stop being selfish and permanently record our good times!  As I start looking and feeling better, I’m hoping my camera shy feeling will go away!  I’ve always loved reading and writing so blogging my life seems more natural than taking pictures.  It’s much easier to take a picture and keep it moving, but the writing is much more cathartic.  Hopefully soon taking pictures of the journey will be too.  It’s not going to be easy, but this journey is to ONEderland is opening my eyes to a lot of things that may have caused my weight gain besides eating a few extra snacks.

And the journey continues (being recorded along the way)…..